The news was good -- all the tests indicate that my cancer is stable. No new growths, no changes. That's good. If that's good then why am I sad.
I'm sad and mad because nothing can be done to get this out of my body. I'm not a candidate for liver surgery because the tumors are scattered throughout my liver. The good news is that they haven't grown since my last CAT scan. We're in the 'let's check again in three months'. I can't imagine how expensive this experience will be. I'm feeling somewhat fatalistic this morning. Based on what I've read, having a day like this is normal. CRAP.
The good news is that carcinoid tumor cancer is extremely slow growing but they do grow.
I start my octreotide shots today because I still have diarrhea. Diarrhea has been part of life ever since I lost my gall bladder in 1999. I wonder if a CAT scan back then would have changed today's outcome.
Ahhhhhhhhhh the value in 20-20 hindsight.
The shots will start small. First I get less than a milliliter with a tiny needle. That's good. The medicine will last for a couple of days and is a test to see if I have any reactions. I hope not ... what's my other choice?
See? Told you I was a fatalist. I'll shape out of it in a minute. Bare with me.
My doctor answered all my web-found questions and even spoke kindly about the Carcinoid Cancer Foundation (CCF). I'm glad he's heard of them. Now I can continue reading the materials with an increased confidence.
ALL of my medical professionals have told me to stay OFF the web. "Don't believe what you read. Most of that information is WRONG. You're chances are better then what you'll read about." My CHANCES? These words are aimed at me and if aimed at me then my family structure will change dramatically. THAT's why I'm sad. Knew the reason would surface.
Guess I'd better start finding my animals good homes. Well, the goats at least. The dogs, cats, chickens, and horses are family. So are the goats, if the truth be known. I LOVE my goats ... but they need better, longer lasting homes. They're good goats.
That's enough for now. I need to go adjust. :)